For most people, the holiday season is a wonderful time of year. It is often a time of family reunion, socializing, and celebration - a time when families, friends, and coworkers come together to share good will and good food. The season is meant to be bright, happy, and full of the best of relationships. Yet, for those who suffer with eating disorders, this is often the worst time of the year. For those who are trapped in the private hell of anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder, the Holidays often magnify their personal struggles, causing them great internal pain and turmoil.Over the past few years, during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season I have felt horrible. I felt trapped and like the food was out to get me. I lied on endless occasions to avoid all of the parties and big dinners that go along with the holidays. I felt horrible about my body and did not want anyone to see me eat for fear they would make judgments about me." Eighteen-year-old woman These quotes from women suffering from anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating reveal the emotional intensity they feel during the holiday season. Their fear of gaining weight and becoming, in their minds, fat, gross, and disgusting, is the monster they must deal with every time they partake of any of the foods that are so wonderful and common to the holidays.
Why are eating disorders the greatest killers among the many different psychological disorders? This is because of the media, as well as the disorder's dramatic and deadly affects on the body. Today, media is in our lives no matter where we go. From television, radio, and the news, to magazines, newspapers, and the internet, media plays a big role in the spreading ideas, norms, and styles to people. Media spreads information really quickly to millions of people. Media is around people no matter where they turn, and they face it on a daily basis in some form. So, how is media related to eating disorders? This question, and many other questions, will be answered after we get a better understanding of what an eating disorder is, its characteristics, statistics, and ways to prevent and treat it. I will, however, focus only on anorexia and bulimia because they are more affected by the media than overeating disorders are.People with eating disorders obsess about their intake of food, and they spend a lot of time thinking about their weight and body image. Their body is badly affected both emotionally and physically. People with an eating disorder may suffer from a number of different symptoms, and not everyone gets the same symptoms as they vary from individual to individual. According to the Help Guide-Mental Health Issues, even though anorexia is the most revealed eating disorder in the media, bulimia is the most prevalent eating disorder.
"My life with an eating disorder during the holidays is a living hell - constant hiding and fear, confused about life and hating every moment being surrounded by food. There was so much pressure, so many stares and glances, and days with endless comments. My whole life was a mess. There was so much pain and guilt inside of me and I didn't know where to turn, except to my eating disorder. I hated the pressure of eating the food, the constant worrying of offending others." -Twenty-two-year-old woman "It's hard to be around all the food and festivities. When I'm hurting inside and struggling with what "normal" food portions even are, I need the help, emotional understanding, and support of family and other people. "Handle with care, but please handle." Accept me the way I am. Let me back in the family" -Twenty-three-year-old woman.The Hidden Beast of Holiday Feasts Tales of Bulimia and Binge Eating.On the other end of the eating disorder spectrum, a woman with severe bulimia or binge eating disorder finds the holidays are a genuine nightmare because there is so much emphasis on food that they become preoccupied with it. Binge eating and subsequent purges become even more prevalent because many of the foods and sweets that are associated with holiday celebrations are very enticing to them. The holidays can be a time of convenient indulgence, but also a time of great shame and self-reproach because of their secret life. Some even use the binge eating and/or purging as a form of self-punishment throughout the holidays.
Eating disorders have a big impact on society on a small and on a large scale; meaning both individuals and society as a whole dedicate significant parts of their lives to the struggles of dealing with eating disorders. A lot of money and time go into the troubles of dealing with an eating disorder, as well as into the measures taken in order to treat and prevent them. Eating disorders are very common amongst celebrities, mainly because their profession puts pressure on them to be skinny. The majority of celebrities that we see in the media are all skinny, and most of them are anorexic or bulimic. The fans of these celebrities look at the bodies of their idols and they want to be like them. The problem with this is that anorexic and skinny celebrities do not make good role models for their fans because their skinny figures are not a healthy look to follow. Famous people believe that in order to be successful they must be skinny. This is not true. Celebrities expose their looks and body image to the media where fans can see them and get the wrong idea that their idol's looks are acceptable when their idols are only trying to lose weight for their own "success". In a weight article, Monica Seles stated that "Women in society have much tougher pressure to be thin." It is like a cycle; celebrities are skinny in order to impress their fans and companies. They send their fans the wrong idea, thus making their fans lose weight. In the end, everyone has the idea that they must be thin and they must lose weight, thus, being skinny becomes the norm.
There is no need and there is no good time to feel guilty or at fault for your loved one's eating disorder. The Holidays are especially not the time. Eating disorders are complex illnesses that are not caused by one person or one relationship. It is also important for the eating disordered person not to feel responsible for their family and friend's emotional response to the eating disorder. One helpful agreement around the holiday season is, "We will spend time focusing on the need for nourishment as previously agreed upon, and primarily, we will spend time focusing on each other and the things that are available and that are meaningful in our family or social setting." Let them know that you can look beyond the outward manifestations of the eating disorder because you are also concerned about the hurt, pain, fear, and guilt they are feeling inside. In acknowledging the pain inside, no one has to be at fault or to blame for the eating disorder, allowing positive family associations and caring to become the emphasis. There is no need to "walk on egg shells", especially when everyone understands and acknowledges the underlying needs associated with the eating disorder. Compassion is a wonderful holiday gift for someone with an eating disorder.
Some family dynamics, such as conflict, can be triggering to those with eating disorder difficulties. Struggles with perfectionism, feelings of rejection, disapproval, and fear of being controlled, are all cited frequently by women who suffer with the illness. Harboring strong feelings and beliefs that parents, family members, or friends find them unacceptable, inadequate, or disappointing is challenging for anyone, but is particularly devastating to someone with a painful eating disorder. Being immersed in a family setting during the holidays has the potential to dredge up old issues, fears, conflicts, and worries about family relationships. The resulting emotional disruption can feed the eating disorder and exacerbate the problem.Holidays, with all the food and family commotion, are pure hell when you have an eating disorder. For me, when the focus isn't on food and is on the real reason for the holiday, it's a big help. My family helped me out with this one, but I had to do most of it internally. Remember, it's just food, and we have more power than food." -Thirty-nine-year-old woman
The following suggestions resulted from a survey question we asked patients in treatment: "What three suggestions do you have for family and friends who want to help the holiday season go a little better for a loved one suffering with an eating disorder?" The women offering these suggestions range in age from fourteen to forty-four, and their suggestions offer some valuable insight and understanding that could be helpful to you as a friend or a family member. Being compassionate about the struggles of the eating disorder illness can help make the Holidays less of a battle for those you love. The suggestions are: Do not make a big issue about what your loved one is eating. A little bit of encouragement is okay. - Do not focus too much on food, it may only fuel the eating disorder. - Ask her how she is doing and see if she needs any help. - Do not become angry about how the she feels, just do your best to support her. - Offer a lot of support and be aware of what may be creating anxiety and try and understand what she feels. Be understanding, kind, and supportive. - Spend quality time with your loved one. - Make sure that the primary focus of the holiday is not on the food but rather on the family and the valued time you will share together. - Allow for other activities that do not involve food, such as games, singing carols together, opening gifts, decorating, and spending time just talking together. - Allow her to make a dish that she would feel comfortable eating. - Before the Holiday itself, and before family gatherings, make agreements about how you can best help your loved one with food. Honor the agreements you make. - Do not give her loud and attention drawing praise when she does eat. - Do not talk about diets, weight loss, or weight gain. It causes great anxiety and may increase a felt need to engage in eating disorder behavior. - Do not stare. - Learn enough about the illness and the triggers to help your loved one develop skills as well as strategies to defy eating disorder thoughts and urges. - Know something about her struggles, triggers, and behaviors. Then, if you see those, you can approach her after a meal in private and suggest ways she might be helped in some of those behaviors and learn ways you can be helpful and supportive. - If you see her struggling, ask if she wants to talk, but ask this in private. - Focus on how she is feeling inside, what issues she is worrying about, what her fears are, what she needs, rather than just how much she is eating or not eating. - Try not to focus too much attention on the eating disordered behaviors. - Be patient and nurturing. - Treat her with love and respect no matter what is going on. - Let her know that she is loved. - Help her take her mind off of food by generating a conversation with her about general or important topics. - Don't allow her to excessively isolate. - Be there for her emotionally and physically with hugs and messages of love.
Since eating disorders are such important problems facing society today, researchers have used psychological theories to try to solve these problems including group therapy, medical treatment, and nutritional counseling. Eating disorders are treatable, and a person who has an eating disorder does have a chance of getting better, however, if the media continues to idolize skinny celebrities and condone their extremely thin size, it will continue to aid people in trying to lose weight. Having an eating disorder is like a really bad habit that needs to be stopped. A lot of people do not have the ability to stop this bad habit on their own, thus they need help from professional doctors and even family. There are several different methods used to treat an eating disorder. Since an eating disorder affects individuals both physically and psychologically, the treatment for an eating disorder has to satisfy both the physical and psychological aspect of the disorder. Medicine alone wont help a patient get better. In order to get positive long term effects from the treatment, a patient has to receive a mix of medical and psychological help for their disorder. Some therapies that psychologists use to determine the problem and treatment of an eating disorder are cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, rational emotive therapy, and psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
It is not your job to fix or solve the eating disorder. It is your job to encourage nourishment of the body and provide nourishment to the soul. Working too hard to stop the eating disorder behaviors during the holidays can fuel dishonesty and defensiveness which actually feeds the problem. You are not responsible to say or do everything right. Nothing you do or not do will take away your friend or family member's own responsibility to overcome and recover from their eating disorder. She/he is the only one who can do that job, but you can care, empathize, encourage, and share the process with them. The good intent you express is often more helpful than what is actually said or done. If your friend or family member knows that your heart is on their side, then you become a source of comfort, support, and safety to them.These general holiday suggestions by patients and professionals are not a complete list, but they do emphasize some positive approaches to help and support someone suffering with an eating disorder. The specific ideas, strategies, and agreements that can come out of your interactions with your loved one before and during the holidays will allow these ideas to be personalized and unique for each situation. Remember also, that the person struggling with the eating disorder has her own list of positive things that she can do to help her through the holiday season as well. We hope this article is helpful in better understanding the significant and difficult ordeal those who suffer from eating disorders will face at this season of the year. We hope this awareness and understanding will help us identify the best gifts of the holidays for those we love and care so much about at this time of year.
Personally, I don't think that the media will ever be an effective resource for people to learn the truth and to learn about eating disorders. The media spreads a lot of false information and people tend to misinterpret the messages they hear on TV. Companies try to sell us products that will reduce our weight and make ourselves look "beautiful" by spending millions of dollars on advertisements. Consumers spend a lot of money and time trying to lose weight and buying these products that are not what the body needs. I believe that our bodies know what they need and ever one's body is different. Everyone has a different metabolism and shape, and we have to learn how to love ourselves for who we are. We need to teach children at a young age that what they say on TV is not what it is cracked up to be and that they need to have self confidence, because if they don't create an image for themselves, the media will do it for them.
Why are eating disorders the greatest killers among the many different psychological disorders? This is because of the media, as well as the disorder's dramatic and deadly affects on the body. Today, media is in our lives no matter where we go. From television, radio, and the news, to magazines, newspapers, and the internet, media plays a big role in the spreading ideas, norms, and styles to people. Media spreads information really quickly to millions of people. Media is around people no matter where they turn, and they face it on a daily basis in some form. So, how is media related to eating disorders? This question, and many other questions, will be answered after we get a better understanding of what an eating disorder is, its characteristics, statistics, and ways to prevent and treat it. I will, however, focus only on anorexia and bulimia because they are more affected by the media than overeating disorders are.People with eating disorders obsess about their intake of food, and they spend a lot of time thinking about their weight and body image. Their body is badly affected both emotionally and physically. People with an eating disorder may suffer from a number of different symptoms, and not everyone gets the same symptoms as they vary from individual to individual. According to the Help Guide-Mental Health Issues, even though anorexia is the most revealed eating disorder in the media, bulimia is the most prevalent eating disorder.
"My life with an eating disorder during the holidays is a living hell - constant hiding and fear, confused about life and hating every moment being surrounded by food. There was so much pressure, so many stares and glances, and days with endless comments. My whole life was a mess. There was so much pain and guilt inside of me and I didn't know where to turn, except to my eating disorder. I hated the pressure of eating the food, the constant worrying of offending others." -Twenty-two-year-old woman "It's hard to be around all the food and festivities. When I'm hurting inside and struggling with what "normal" food portions even are, I need the help, emotional understanding, and support of family and other people. "Handle with care, but please handle." Accept me the way I am. Let me back in the family" -Twenty-three-year-old woman.The Hidden Beast of Holiday Feasts Tales of Bulimia and Binge Eating.On the other end of the eating disorder spectrum, a woman with severe bulimia or binge eating disorder finds the holidays are a genuine nightmare because there is so much emphasis on food that they become preoccupied with it. Binge eating and subsequent purges become even more prevalent because many of the foods and sweets that are associated with holiday celebrations are very enticing to them. The holidays can be a time of convenient indulgence, but also a time of great shame and self-reproach because of their secret life. Some even use the binge eating and/or purging as a form of self-punishment throughout the holidays.
Eating disorders have a big impact on society on a small and on a large scale; meaning both individuals and society as a whole dedicate significant parts of their lives to the struggles of dealing with eating disorders. A lot of money and time go into the troubles of dealing with an eating disorder, as well as into the measures taken in order to treat and prevent them. Eating disorders are very common amongst celebrities, mainly because their profession puts pressure on them to be skinny. The majority of celebrities that we see in the media are all skinny, and most of them are anorexic or bulimic. The fans of these celebrities look at the bodies of their idols and they want to be like them. The problem with this is that anorexic and skinny celebrities do not make good role models for their fans because their skinny figures are not a healthy look to follow. Famous people believe that in order to be successful they must be skinny. This is not true. Celebrities expose their looks and body image to the media where fans can see them and get the wrong idea that their idol's looks are acceptable when their idols are only trying to lose weight for their own "success". In a weight article, Monica Seles stated that "Women in society have much tougher pressure to be thin." It is like a cycle; celebrities are skinny in order to impress their fans and companies. They send their fans the wrong idea, thus making their fans lose weight. In the end, everyone has the idea that they must be thin and they must lose weight, thus, being skinny becomes the norm.
There is no need and there is no good time to feel guilty or at fault for your loved one's eating disorder. The Holidays are especially not the time. Eating disorders are complex illnesses that are not caused by one person or one relationship. It is also important for the eating disordered person not to feel responsible for their family and friend's emotional response to the eating disorder. One helpful agreement around the holiday season is, "We will spend time focusing on the need for nourishment as previously agreed upon, and primarily, we will spend time focusing on each other and the things that are available and that are meaningful in our family or social setting." Let them know that you can look beyond the outward manifestations of the eating disorder because you are also concerned about the hurt, pain, fear, and guilt they are feeling inside. In acknowledging the pain inside, no one has to be at fault or to blame for the eating disorder, allowing positive family associations and caring to become the emphasis. There is no need to "walk on egg shells", especially when everyone understands and acknowledges the underlying needs associated with the eating disorder. Compassion is a wonderful holiday gift for someone with an eating disorder.
Some family dynamics, such as conflict, can be triggering to those with eating disorder difficulties. Struggles with perfectionism, feelings of rejection, disapproval, and fear of being controlled, are all cited frequently by women who suffer with the illness. Harboring strong feelings and beliefs that parents, family members, or friends find them unacceptable, inadequate, or disappointing is challenging for anyone, but is particularly devastating to someone with a painful eating disorder. Being immersed in a family setting during the holidays has the potential to dredge up old issues, fears, conflicts, and worries about family relationships. The resulting emotional disruption can feed the eating disorder and exacerbate the problem.Holidays, with all the food and family commotion, are pure hell when you have an eating disorder. For me, when the focus isn't on food and is on the real reason for the holiday, it's a big help. My family helped me out with this one, but I had to do most of it internally. Remember, it's just food, and we have more power than food." -Thirty-nine-year-old woman
The following suggestions resulted from a survey question we asked patients in treatment: "What three suggestions do you have for family and friends who want to help the holiday season go a little better for a loved one suffering with an eating disorder?" The women offering these suggestions range in age from fourteen to forty-four, and their suggestions offer some valuable insight and understanding that could be helpful to you as a friend or a family member. Being compassionate about the struggles of the eating disorder illness can help make the Holidays less of a battle for those you love. The suggestions are: Do not make a big issue about what your loved one is eating. A little bit of encouragement is okay. - Do not focus too much on food, it may only fuel the eating disorder. - Ask her how she is doing and see if she needs any help. - Do not become angry about how the she feels, just do your best to support her. - Offer a lot of support and be aware of what may be creating anxiety and try and understand what she feels. Be understanding, kind, and supportive. - Spend quality time with your loved one. - Make sure that the primary focus of the holiday is not on the food but rather on the family and the valued time you will share together. - Allow for other activities that do not involve food, such as games, singing carols together, opening gifts, decorating, and spending time just talking together. - Allow her to make a dish that she would feel comfortable eating. - Before the Holiday itself, and before family gatherings, make agreements about how you can best help your loved one with food. Honor the agreements you make. - Do not give her loud and attention drawing praise when she does eat. - Do not talk about diets, weight loss, or weight gain. It causes great anxiety and may increase a felt need to engage in eating disorder behavior. - Do not stare. - Learn enough about the illness and the triggers to help your loved one develop skills as well as strategies to defy eating disorder thoughts and urges. - Know something about her struggles, triggers, and behaviors. Then, if you see those, you can approach her after a meal in private and suggest ways she might be helped in some of those behaviors and learn ways you can be helpful and supportive. - If you see her struggling, ask if she wants to talk, but ask this in private. - Focus on how she is feeling inside, what issues she is worrying about, what her fears are, what she needs, rather than just how much she is eating or not eating. - Try not to focus too much attention on the eating disordered behaviors. - Be patient and nurturing. - Treat her with love and respect no matter what is going on. - Let her know that she is loved. - Help her take her mind off of food by generating a conversation with her about general or important topics. - Don't allow her to excessively isolate. - Be there for her emotionally and physically with hugs and messages of love.
Since eating disorders are such important problems facing society today, researchers have used psychological theories to try to solve these problems including group therapy, medical treatment, and nutritional counseling. Eating disorders are treatable, and a person who has an eating disorder does have a chance of getting better, however, if the media continues to idolize skinny celebrities and condone their extremely thin size, it will continue to aid people in trying to lose weight. Having an eating disorder is like a really bad habit that needs to be stopped. A lot of people do not have the ability to stop this bad habit on their own, thus they need help from professional doctors and even family. There are several different methods used to treat an eating disorder. Since an eating disorder affects individuals both physically and psychologically, the treatment for an eating disorder has to satisfy both the physical and psychological aspect of the disorder. Medicine alone wont help a patient get better. In order to get positive long term effects from the treatment, a patient has to receive a mix of medical and psychological help for their disorder. Some therapies that psychologists use to determine the problem and treatment of an eating disorder are cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, rational emotive therapy, and psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
It is not your job to fix or solve the eating disorder. It is your job to encourage nourishment of the body and provide nourishment to the soul. Working too hard to stop the eating disorder behaviors during the holidays can fuel dishonesty and defensiveness which actually feeds the problem. You are not responsible to say or do everything right. Nothing you do or not do will take away your friend or family member's own responsibility to overcome and recover from their eating disorder. She/he is the only one who can do that job, but you can care, empathize, encourage, and share the process with them. The good intent you express is often more helpful than what is actually said or done. If your friend or family member knows that your heart is on their side, then you become a source of comfort, support, and safety to them.These general holiday suggestions by patients and professionals are not a complete list, but they do emphasize some positive approaches to help and support someone suffering with an eating disorder. The specific ideas, strategies, and agreements that can come out of your interactions with your loved one before and during the holidays will allow these ideas to be personalized and unique for each situation. Remember also, that the person struggling with the eating disorder has her own list of positive things that she can do to help her through the holiday season as well. We hope this article is helpful in better understanding the significant and difficult ordeal those who suffer from eating disorders will face at this season of the year. We hope this awareness and understanding will help us identify the best gifts of the holidays for those we love and care so much about at this time of year.
Personally, I don't think that the media will ever be an effective resource for people to learn the truth and to learn about eating disorders. The media spreads a lot of false information and people tend to misinterpret the messages they hear on TV. Companies try to sell us products that will reduce our weight and make ourselves look "beautiful" by spending millions of dollars on advertisements. Consumers spend a lot of money and time trying to lose weight and buying these products that are not what the body needs. I believe that our bodies know what they need and ever one's body is different. Everyone has a different metabolism and shape, and we have to learn how to love ourselves for who we are. We need to teach children at a young age that what they say on TV is not what it is cracked up to be and that they need to have self confidence, because if they don't create an image for themselves, the media will do it for them.
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